As a cemeterian, I have always been intrigued and honored to visit Arlington National Cemetery when I visit my sister-in-law in Arlington, Virginia. In fact, the many visits to Arlington National Cemetery likely sparked my interest in becoming a cemeterian in the first place. On January 23, 2025, I’ll have the honor to attend an Arlington funeral that includes full military honors. I am excited, honored and humbled at the same time.
Captain Joan Smith Grey (at left) was a hospital chaplain and close friend of my sister-in-law. She graduated from the United States Military Academy at West Point, a member of the first class to include women. In a nighttime parachute accident at Fort Bragg, she experienced a mid-air collision with another parachuter and fell to the ground suffering a broken back, ankle, and temporary paralysis. As a result, Joan was medically retired from the Army with the rank of Captain. She was awarded the Legion of Merit.
Unfortunately, Joan passed away in 2022 after being diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer. Joan’s educational credentials included a BS from the USMA (West Point), an MBA from San Jose State and an MA from Harvard in Religious Studies as well as earning a Certificate through a Clinical Pastoral Education program in North Carolina. Joan’s Master’s Thesis from her Religious Studies program was transformed into a book entitled “Good Goodbyes: A Mortal’s Guide to Life“. Joan wrote “…Everyone tells you what to expect when you are expecting. No one outlines how to prepare yourself and your loved ones for dying.” After the diagnosis, her last days served as the validation of her book, and her final opportunity to lead by example. A tribute to Captain Grey can be found here.
In our February 2025 newsletter I’ll have the privilege of reporting on my experience witnessing the laying of Captain Grey to her eternal rest.
Written by J. H. Torrance Downes, CCA Board of Directors
